Tuesday, December 23, 2003

Happy Birthday ERIC!!!!!

This is a few days late, because I haven't really gotten the chance to write lately, Christmas related business and all. But now I'm here and I'd like to say a few words about my oldest friend...

Eric is the kind of person that makes an impact in peoples lives, no matter how short a time you've known him. We've been though many, many organizations together, and aside from having to suffer hearing his old jokes, told to new and unsuspecting audiences, he always leaves a good impression on people.

There was a time you would never think of us as best friends. He was studying to be a priest, and I was exploring the world . We were quite the opposite in a lot of things. But, we shared a lot in common as well. I'd enumerate them here now exept that I can't think of anything right now.

Lemme think about this for a bit...

(Time passes)

Ok. I took a 20 minute break and I still can't think of anything we have in common. So scratch that.

Kidding aside, I don't know where I'd be if I hadn't met this guy. He's helped me out so many times through the years: giving advice and support, always being there, listening without judging.

I don't think I'm doing my friend justice with my incoherent and flakey writing. Basta, I'll just say that he's one person who who I believe makes a difference in people's lives.

So....my thanks goes to my oldest and closest friend, for being who you are, for being my friend, and for saving me from insanity. (Walang connect yung last pero he did help save my sanity)

Belated Happy Birthday Eric!

Wednesday, December 17, 2003

Michelle Bayle

Michelle Bayle was in my office 2 days ago. She had to re-dub her voice for a project we were working on. No one else was available to handle the machines for dubbing so I took over.

It was clear that she was having a bad day. She was talking to her 2 aids about something that happened earlier that day that really bothered her. She wasn't raising her voice or anything. In fact, her tone was still rather cheerful and animated. She's one of those people who would have a really bad day but still manage to squeeze in a few laughs.

We tried dubbing, but her agitation, which hardly showed up on her face, came out so clearly on the audio recording. After a few more attempts, she stopped, excused herself, stepped out of the office, then started screaming, jumping running in the corridors. A few minutes later, she came back, more calm calm composed. I asked if she was ready, she said yes, then we started recording. All the recordings that followed were almost perfect. We concluded the recording session a few minutes later.

She was really nice during her whole visit. She kept apologizing for her mood that day and thanking me for my patience (we had to re-take several times at the start). She would crack a joke every now and then, bewail her lack of romance, etc. She even asked me what I wanted for Chrismas.

Then there is also the stupid ME, who didn't even have a picture taken with her. Idiot.

Anyway, I had fun that day. It was also a bit sad because it got me thinking of the price she has to pay for her stardom. How much more stress is she hiding inside? Stress that doesn't go away with a few screams and cartwheels. It got me thinking how she keeps a light and lively disposition almost all the time: a disposition that is natural and at the same time constantly expected of her.

Still, I have a lot of admiration for her and i wish her luck on her personal path. I don't think many people will chose that path if they really knew the price. I think she does. And I think she'll pay it with a smile....

Saturday, December 13, 2003

While surfing the net, I found this:

It's Magic the Gathering: Battlegrounds for the PC and Xbox. I went nuts. I wanted to go get the game right away. Unfortunately, I know myself well enough to guess what will happen when I do get that game. That's all I'll ever do. To those who know me well, remember Diablo, Diablo II, The Sims, and Ice Wind Dale 2? I would literally lock myself up somewhere (typing room of Rizal Libray comes to mind) and just play the damned games.  But of all the games, Magic the Gathering was the most addictive of the lot. and now, this PC version.  I'm dead...

For someone who constantly preaches detachment and letting go, I make a very bad role model, especially when it comes to my current obsessions. I will get the game eventually. No use kidding myself. If I do, you'll all know. This will be the last entry you will see. Hehehehe.

To those who know the game, yes, that is Ishan's Shade on the cover. You get to play him if you chose the black color. If you're blue, you play Arcanis etc...


They also have a really nice flash site.

Thursday, December 11, 2003

Everyone Has a Story to Tell

Everyone has a Story to Tell

Once when I was walking to the office from the gym, I stopped by this restaurant to get some food. While waiting for my food to arrive, the manager, who already knows me from my earlier visits, went outside to chat (I sat in their outdoor section). He began with the usual Kamusta na ser, Matagal na kayo hindi napadaan ser. I told him I was usually very busy so I just eat food I brought to the office. We exchanged a few stories about our work, how we both hardly had time to ourselves, how we both work on weekends and extended hours. Then we got to talk about marriage and family life. Since I'm not married, he obviously took the floor on that conversation. I learned how he and his wife both work, and that their child is being cared for by his mother-in-law in the province, and how they see their kid only on weekends.

The entire conversation took place while I was seated and he was standing beside my table, preserving the barriers of a manager-customer relationship while at the same time enjoying a short chat.

After I got my food, had to excuse myself since I had so much work to do. I thanked him and I went on back to my daily labors.

I then realized, that as much as I liked hearing his story, I guess he must have equally enjoyed telling it. Did it give him a break from the restaurant business? Did he experience a moment apart from the dishes and beer and cigarettes? A moment to be himself, not just a manager but as a person as well....A person with a unique life and story to tell.

Everyone has a story to tell. We seem to reclaim part of our lost humanity when we tell our stories and share our experiences. Humanity that is lost when we get so caught up in our work and efforts to survive. As bad as things get for us, we always feel a little better when we have someone who we can share our feelings with. People have a story to tell. The difficult part sometimes is finding someone who will listen.

As for myself, when I do feel the need to tell my story, I'd ring up my closest friends. Maybe Eric or Maillol or Karl *

And other times, I would...well...

Your reading one of them now.

*Wag na selos ang hindi nabanggit please. Examples lang yan. Behave. Hehehe. Love you all.

Wednesday, December 10, 2003

Just Letting Go

Relax and Let It Go

Relly, an old friend of mine from highschool used to describe me as "so uptight, that if you stick a lump of coal up his ass, it would come out as diamond". I found out later on that he ripped that one from the movie Ferris Beuler's Day Off. Of course he said that in good nature, but it was rather true.

I was very uptight and serious kid. The responsible, K.J., nagpapakamature kid. The kind you voted for class president or treasurer or something. Although, having grown up, and having taken to a rather liberal, unbounded, and sometimes radical lifestyle, I still have that prude of a kid inside me.

And being too serious did cause me a lot of stress. Even going out and having fun became an organizational task, with me stressing over the details and everything.

It took time for me to understand the value of letting go. Through the years, I saw the value of letting things run their course. I learned that I didn't have to do everything, and that sometimes, things fall into place better if we let them, rather than trying to control or fix everything.

...Well...As usual, I'm having trouble concluding my entries. But its 5:30 am and I'm coming up dry. So, rather than forcing some sensible thought at this hour, I think I'll just let it go.

That's all for today. Goodnight good people.

Monday, December 08, 2003

The Stairs

Yesterday upon the stair
I met a man who wasn't there.
He wasn't there again today.
I wish that man would go away.

Hughes Mearns (1875-1965)

I heard this when I watched my new Identity DVD (see earlier post). I've heard it before but I can't remember where I heard it first. Still, my thoughts are ....Wow.....

It brings me back memories of Quantum Physics classes: The cat being both alive and dead, the doorknob that was locked and unlocked, and now the man who wasn't there...

Friday, December 05, 2003

What's in a Name?

What's in a Name?

There's this link which tells you yor past life by after you enter your name. Try it out. Mine is...

Quiz Me
Ernest de Castro was
a Polite Radio Announcer
in a past life.

Discover your past lives @ Quiz Me

All I can say is....this is sooooo saaaad :(

They also have a quiz where you get your DJ name. Now this one is REALLY FUNNY if you get it. My dj name:

Quiz Me
Ernest de Castro spins tunes as
DJ Mean Crevice

Get your dj name @ Quiz Me

AAAAANNND my matrix name is CAIRO

Here, they tell you what your color is. Mine is:


You are very perceptive and smart. You are clear and to the point and have a great sense of humor. You are always learning and searching for understanding.

Find out your color at Quiz Me!

"...learning and searching for understanding." the only true part I've seen today. Hehehe. But then again, aren't we all? No lengthy explanation necessary here. Learning and searching for understanding...simply because we are ALIVE. And we can't truly LIVE without constantly learning and searching for understanding. (Ay, pinilit pa kasing may insight eh....hehehe)
Have a nice day people.

Thursday, December 04, 2003



I spent the day at Greenhills today, buying supplies for the office. I needed some printer ink and label tape for my labeler (see LABELS entry). While I was there I decided to pick up a few DVD's.

I'm a very big horror fan. As far as I can remember I've loved scary movies. I used to love Twilight Zone and Tales from the Dark Sideas a kid. I don't do to well with the gore fests though. I faint at the sight of blood. So scratch out the Nightmare on Elm Street and Friday the 13th series. I take extra special precautions to avoid the Hellraiser movies. But I really enjoy the bloodless scary ones.

Needless to say, I found The Ring (Japanese ver) to be the best one I've seen to date. I watched it with Jet and Mike when it was still considered and art film and was only shown in Greenbelt. I couldn't walk in the dark for weeks after watching the movie! I'd look around every time I was in the shower, expecting to see a long haired corpse standing in the corner. Grabe! I loved it!!!!

I'm not so sure why people love being scared. Some say it makes them feel alive, with the heart pumping, blood rushing and all. I think its because its comforting. Everyone has known fear in their lives. We've seen, experienced, or imagined things which we are afraid to face. I think that when we do something scary, like get on a rollercoaster or watch a scary movie, we are scared, but we know that we will most certainly make it through. The ride will end. The movie will end. And we will be perfectly alright. That's why it's comforting. We are allowed to do something which scares us, and we are assured that we will be alright. Because we know that with everything else in our lives, we don't have that kind of assurance. We don't always know that we'll come out alright.

Yun lang. Those are my thoughts for the day. Bitin and incomplete. Like me. hehehhe.

Going back to my story, the DVD's I bought were...Identity, Wicked City (Anime), and The Simpsons Horror Special I'm especially looking forward to watching the Simpson's DVD. :)

Monday, December 01, 2003



I'm sure a lot of you are familiar with the philosophical concept of Ockham's Razor where its stated that "plurality should not be assumed without necessity" or simply put, given a choice between different possibilities or theories, the simpler possibility or theory is most likely the correct one.

As we go through life, we come up with our own philosophies. I name mine sometimes. Here is one of mine. Not as profound, or named as cool, but equally as puzzling :)

Ernest's Circle states that at any time, there is a person (person A) who is inexorably attracted to another person (B) who is then inexorably attracted to another person (C), who may then be attracted to person (A) or another person altogether (D) until it comes into a full circle

This simply means that for MOST people, they will most likely be attracted to someone who is not interested in them but rather someone else. So, my question is, how do we break the circle?