Monday, May 17, 2004

Its been months since my last post. And my last article I believe was all but impressive. So my appologies to those who have visited my page looking for updates but have seen the same piece for days on end.

I got to thinking a last night about highschool. In my mind I relived some of the events that took place long long ago. I saw myslef back then, my insecurities, naivete, innocence. I also recalled my enthusiasm, earnestness (coincidence?) and idealism.

Now, I'm not sitting here typing, asking myslef how I lost all that idealism and energy, and replaced it with cynicism and a hint of fatalism. You see I KNOW, to some degree, what happened. Between the slaps of reality and the inevitable growth into society, people just realize things. But I regress from my point.

What I felt last night was a bit of curiosity of how I must have really felt or thought back then. As I played some scenes from the past in my mind, I could somewhat recall the embarrasment of creating a coughing fiasco in class, the awkwardness of going to the highschool dance with the absurdest fashion statements, etc. I could also remember part of the pride I felt being part of Dulaang Sibol and the Honors Class, the joy of performing on stage, the fun I had with friends.

As a result, I became all the more curious of how far I've come since the first days of highschool more than a decade ago. If I had a blog then, I'm sure it would be quite a read.

I guess that's what prompted me to write again. 10 years form now, when I am successful, powerful and rich (and politically aware, socially concious and spiritualy centered too of course) I want to remember how it was when I was still a struggling entrepreneur, a zealos yogin, a lost soul and a lazy pseudo-bum.

This is ofcourse assuming I still write...and that blogger is still online...and that the internet is still in use...and that I'm still alive, and that I still care....and that I still....and that I supress my cynicism long enough to end this article....(sigh)



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