New BLog

A new chapter in my life has began. kindly proceed to Mein Neues Leben in Deutschland for my newer posts. This blog has been a good friend these past years, but I think a new site will better relfect the changes I'm experiencing at the monent.

Perhaps one day I can look at the blogs I've made and see how I've changed, form blog to blog, template to template.

Thank you to those who have been visiting. And everyone is welcome to visit my new site Mein Neues Leben in Deutschland to read, to comment and to generally make me feel important. Hehehe.

Ernest

Letter to My Dad

I guess my dad is a bit stressed these weeks. I heard he was really worried about me in Germany. Although I do keep telling him I´m ok, I guess he hasn´t really been told whats been happeing to me for the last 3 weeks. I know he´s really worried because he just sent me to Germany with 3 months worth of allowance, and today he send me another 2 months worth or euros. I´m not really complaining, but he really need not worry. I´m posting a copy of the letter here since a lot of it is general kwento that I think I will tell you all aobut anyway...


Hello Dad,

I'll just tell you about Germany to update you.

The appartment I´m in is really nice. There's a
bakeshop and a grocery near it. My bank is also
walking distance from it. Its not very near the
school lang nga. Its kinda far. Getting to school is
not a problem at all kasi madami naman bus and tram
etc. But it takes about an hour to travel since its
far and I have to do a bit of waiting when I transfer
between busses and trams. And its also so expensive.
Im paying €300,00 for my appartment (Thats Three
Hundred. Here kasi they have a comma to separate the
cents from the euro.) There are a lot of places naman
daw where I can get a really nice room and near the
university for about €180. So I´m looking for a place
pa.

I´m in the Hochschule für Künste (University of the
Arts) Bremen. Thats the University of the Arts. Its
on the other side of the city from Universität Bremen
which you probably went to. The Masters Program is a
joint effort of these 2 universities plus 2 more
(Hochshule BremerHaven and another one I think). So
some classes are in the Hochshule für Künst, (HfK)
Some at the Universität (Uni) and some at Hochsule
Bremerhaven.

My home base is HfK. I´m the only foreign student at
the Hfk. But I have classes with the students based at
Uni. There I have met people from Thailand,
Indonesia, Pakistan, Palistine, India, Italy, France,
Russia etc.

The classes are doing ok. Its very relaxed atmosphere
here at the University of the Arts (HfK) kasi artists
daw kami. The teachers are on first name basis etc.
The place is really nice. It´s located inside a
renovated dock building. So stylized ang loob.

They have nice equipment, computers etc...

The style is not so much lecture. I only have 5
subjects this sem. Might just do 4 though. They
recommend only 4 or 5 kasi there is a lot of work
outside of class hours so if I take more I wont be
able to do all of them well. I also want to make time
for my German Language courses.

Unfortunately the school could not provide me for free
language classes. I´ll have to pay for it pa. Im
looknig around for not so expensive classes. If hindi
ko talaga mapasok sa buget ko, I´ll take the free self
learning course sa Universität Library. (Dunno how
good that is though)

Each meal at the school costs €3 sa labas its about €5
to €8. But sometimes I just eat sandwiches for about
€2. Misnan nakakatipid ako, my breakfast is a chicken
hotdog, a fruit pastry. Its about €2,50.

The food is also good but I´m not eating much kasi I
don´t wanna spend to much and I don´t wanna get fat.
They have lots and lots of bread and baked products
and desserts. Masarap talaga. They have this sausage
with fries and mustard and curry ketchup. Its pretty
common here but it tastes so good. hehehhe.

I go around Bremen using their Tram Bus and Train
lines. It goes everywhere, its just a matter of
knowing how where to transfer lines. The bus tram and
train schedule is set by the minute. So the bus from
the Hauptbahnhoff (Main Train station) to my school
leaves at ....10:26, 10:36, 10:46.....etc. There are
also displays showing how many minutes the next 4
train bus or tram will arrive.

But at night, and on Sundays, some buses etc run only
every hour. Just last night I was working in school
till 1 am. But when I got to the Hauptbahnhoff, there
was no train till 4 am. I had to wait in the cold for
3 hours. It was REALLY cold. hehehe.

The other night naman, I had to walk home kasi the bus
stop of the late night bus was 2 stops away from my
house. I walked for 10 minutes on the ice (it snowed
the night before)

That´s another thing pala. It snowed na while I was
here. It was amusing for a few seconds, then it was
just cold. Hehehe. But it became amusing again.

I´m ok dad. Don´t worry. But if worrying causes you
to send more money then I guess a little worry should
be ok.

I sent andrew a list of things I need, I´ll be
updating it tonight.

Okie dad, take care of the smelly animals in the
house. Also Voodoo, kobe and hershey.

Auf Wiedersehn!

Patrick

I'm STILL not in Germany

Sigh.

For now I have abandoned the attempt at profundity that usually accompanies my entries.

I'll just write as I think. After all, this is my blog :)

-Ernest

Delays at the German Embassy in Manila have to this point, delayed my departure to Germany. My school has been very supportive, making calls in my behalf, extending my enrollment deadlines, etc. But I've missed 3 weeks of school already. I only have until next week to enroll. Hopefully (hoftnungsvoll) I will reveive my visa this week.

On another note, I made 2 purchases today that I really liked. One is an audiobook The Art of Happiness by His Holiness the Dalai Lama and Howard C. Cutler. M.D. They didn't have the paperback version, and I really didn't mind having an audio book, so I purchased it. I've listend to the first few chapters and it really seems promising.

The second purchase is Neverwhere, a book by my favourite author Neil Gaiman. I read the first chapter and it also seems very promising. I'm kinda excitied about it.

I'll be bringing Neverwhere to the embassy tomorrow for what is hopefully my last visit. Every visit there is a 3 hour wait before I am called. At least I have something to read this time.

Today I made a personal promise to myslef to change something about myself, to improve myself in one specific aspect each day.

Personal Resolution November 7,2004

..to be more vocal, to express myslef more and not be afraid to speak up..

Reminder to self:

There are times that I will feel that I have failed on this resolution, just understand that I am a work in progress, as are all human beings.

Clockstoppers (or an equally idiotic idea)

It seems to be one entry a month for me now. Oh well.

The past weeks have been horrbly harrassing. Most of it has to do with me waking up at 2 pm every day. This means I have to go on a mad rush to do business with everyone else who closes shop at by 6 pm. This means going to the bank, making calls, visiting clients within minutes of each other. After all that is done, and I have the energy I go to the gym. Unfortunately, my daily schedule and workouts have also been interrupted by various illnesses. Between fevers, dry cough, and now an impacted 3rd molar, I am barely able to do the things I have to do.

What I like the most about having my own business is that I call the shots most of the time. I decide what time I go to work, I decide which of my expenses are company subsidized (my phone bill for instance hehe), I decide whether to do the work myself or get a freelancer to work on it while I go meet my friends at a bar at 2 a.m. on a friday.

The downside is that, I am at the mercy of my own laziness. When I decide to spend 2 hours just browsing the net, there's nobody to tell me to get back to work. So in effect, I believe I waste away at least 3 hours a day. I end up paying for it with a mad rush when a deadline does come knocking like my 2 p.m. wake-up day.

I was never a very disciplined person. Although a lot of people have this strange notion that I am quite the opposite. As much as I am flattered that I do have that image, I must realize that I am indeed one LAZYYYYYY person. I love my TV. If I waste 3 hours a day on non productive tasks, most probably I wasted 2.5 hours of those on TV.

I used to have this theory that one day, someone will invent a TIMESAVER device that works like a wind-up toy. How it works is that when you're waiting for something, and you're not doing anything, you turn on your TIMESAVER and you are frozen in time for a specific period, lets say 30 minutes while you wait for your ride to arrive. So the next time you're in a rush, like you're late for an important meeting, you can whip out your TIMESAVER and reclaim those 30 minues.

I can't even begin to explain why such a device is insanely impossible. (But if you're a fan of CHARMED and you think someone out there has the power to stop time by flashing her palms, then you're even more naive than I ever was) But it was a nice thought. It's comforting to think that we can make up for lost time, whether by cancelling some other appointment or mad rushing the others. But it doesn't take a zen master to realize that time lost is time lost and will NEVER be made up for.

So, till next time.

Take care :)

I'm Going to GERMANY!

Dear Ernest,

The admission committee of the International Inter-University Program in
Digital Media would like to inform you about the results of the evaluation
process.We had a large number of applications with a lot of excellent
candidates. The admission committee reviewed and discussed all applications.

I am happy to inform you that your application was successful ... and
that the committee recommends you to the University of the Arts Bremen for
admission ...

Prof. Dr. Ulrike Lechner (Member of the admission committee M.Sc./M.A.
Digital Media)

I got this email Thursday, August 5, 2004. I have been waiting for it for around two months. I was beginning to feel that I wasn't accepted or that they didn't get my application in the first place.

A lot of people knew that I sent my application and a lot have been asking when I was leaving. I had to tell them I don't know...

I was estatic when I finally received that e-mail. I couldn't think of anything else. I told everyone I ran into. There was a lot fo mixed feelings upon receiving this.

My bebe was obviously very very sad, but at the same time was very happy for me. My good friend Karl was worried that "Life as we know it will never be the same". My father was estatic and started telling everyone.

My mother would have been so proud...

Up to yesterday, I always believed that I will make my desicion upon receiving the notice. There are still a lot of good reasons for me to stay, but after waiting for so long I realized that this kind of opportunity may never come again.

I will go to Germany. I will study there for 2 years. And I will do really well. I pray that I remain strong and focused during these next two years.

I offer this new stage in my life to the people I love, especially my mother, who sacrificed so much for me to fulfill my dreams.

Germany

I've been planning to take my masters degree in Germany for quite some time now. I first got the idea 2 years ago, when my friend arrived from one of his trips to Germany. I tried to go last year but decided, it would be better to stay. This year I believe is the best time for me to be there.

Yesterday was the last day for application to University of Bremen, Master is Digital Media Program.

I finished my application a day before the deadline. Some things apparently never change. Actually, the deadline used to be on May 31. I was ready to complete my application on May 29, but then I found out the deadline was extended to June 14, so I promptly handed in my application...on June 13! Some things, are almost impossible to change.

This is going to be one of the biggest crossroads of my life so far. By the time I have to go to Germany (assuming I get accepted) I will have to decide what to do with my business. I will aslo have to think about what will become of my relationship. There are a lot of implications to my leaving, but these 2 are the most significant.

There are several business opportunities that are arriving this year. I could stay and try to make it big with the 3D business, or I could study, and make it BIGGER when I get back with better credentials.

I make it a personal policy not to talk about my very personal relatioships here for various reasons of security, but suffice to say there will be many implications to my leaving, both good and bad, unfortunately.

A lot of things are in store for me in the very near future. Needless to say I am very excited. Soon there are major desicions I will have to make that will change my life immensely. I just hope that when the time comes, I am ready and able to make the best choice.

My fondest greetings to those who have walked this path before, and to those who shall meet along the way.

Title

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Its been months since my last post. And my last article I believe was all but impressive. So my appologies to those who have visited my page looking for updates but have seen the same piece for days on end.

I got to thinking a last night about highschool. In my mind I relived some of the events that took place long long ago. I saw myslef back then, my insecurities, naivete, innocence. I also recalled my enthusiasm, earnestness (coincidence?) and idealism.

Now, I'm not sitting here typing, asking myslef how I lost all that idealism and energy, and replaced it with cynicism and a hint of fatalism. You see I KNOW, to some degree, what happened. Between the slaps of reality and the inevitable growth into society, people just realize things. But I regress from my point.

What I felt last night was a bit of curiosity of how I must have really felt or thought back then. As I played some scenes from the past in my mind, I could somewhat recall the embarrasment of creating a coughing fiasco in class, the awkwardness of going to the highschool dance with the absurdest fashion statements, etc. I could also remember part of the pride I felt being part of Dulaang Sibol and the Honors Class, the joy of performing on stage, the fun I had with friends.

As a result, I became all the more curious of how far I've come since the first days of highschool more than a decade ago. If I had a blog then, I'm sure it would be quite a read.

I guess that's what prompted me to write again. 10 years form now, when I am successful, powerful and rich (and politically aware, socially concious and spiritualy centered too of course) I want to remember how it was when I was still a struggling entrepreneur, a zealos yogin, a lost soul and a lazy pseudo-bum.

This is ofcourse assuming I still write...and that blogger is still online...and that the internet is still in use...and that I'm still alive, and that I still care....and that I still....and that I supress my cynicism long enough to end this article....(sigh)



Hehehe.

Sincerity To The Max

I was reading the paper today (a rare occurrence) and I saw that ABS-CBN was coming up with a new show entitled To the Max. I’m not sure I understood the concept, being the semiliterate person that I am, but I do know that it is a reality based show where the contestants are yayas or maids. They’re supposed to compete by completing some series of tasks (conjured up by the ABS-CBN concept development team or something) and win money and other prizes. The article mentioned that each contestant had a unique story and background, stating that one maid wanted to raise money to pay the rent of the hut her family lives in. Another one wanted to go to college and take up medicine. The article continued by extolling the virtues of the creators of the show and it’s hosts: Kris Aquino was so moved, she offered to pay for a contestant’s college tuition if she passed the UP college entrance exam. Marvin Agustin offered to buy one maid’s family a TV set so her family can watch her progress and support her on TV.

I’m not saying there is absolutely no sincerity behind the motives of the hosts, writers, and creators of the show, but my thoughts go like this:

If you are really REALLY sincere about helping people (I.e. sending them to college etc) just go on and do it.

Just give it to them. You don’t have to make a high-rating TV show and make a few more millions out of it. I’m pretty sure for the amount of money that goes into launching a new show, promoting it, paying the hosts, etc, is more than enough to send a several people to college and pay the housing rent of several families.

This is not really an attack on ABS-CBN. I know and understand being an entrepreneur that business is business. We all must make a living. I just think people should be more honest with what they are doing, and why they’re doing it. If I’m out to help people, I’m out to help people. If I’m out to make money, I’m out to make money. If I’m out to help people AND make money along the way, so be it. But to CLAIM to want to help people while all I really wanted is to make money….Well that’s just not right is it?